This is a sermon I gave in the Fall of 2017. I hope it gives you something to think on! What is your "I am?"
Exodus 3: 14-15
God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I am has sent me to you.” God also said to Moses “Say to the Israelites, The Lord, the God of your fathers- The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob- has sent me to you.” “This is my name forever, the name you shall call me from generation to generation.”
In our society we tend to think very concretely about reality and our physical world. Most people believe that matter creates consciousness or that our brain gives us the capacity for conscious thought. In other words, our perceived consciousness is just a by product of the physical world – our brain. We assume that we can’t change the physical world with our thoughts. Over the past several decades the popular or prevailing idea has been that humans are products of the world and our experiences. We are essentially machines or products of our conditioning and our brain neurons. While this is a popular view, there is another. Some scientists assert that perhaps matter exists in and is acted on by consciousness. In other words, matter is secondary to consciousness.
Experiments like the famous double slit experiment show how human observation itself influences the very behavior of light and calls into question whether the fundamental nature of reality is even physical at all. Experiments on the placebo effect demonstrate how pure thoughts and beliefs can physically alter our bodies. It leads me to wonder to what degree does our conscious thought have an impact on our physical world. Can our conscious mind affect our physical world? Does consciousness create matter? Is God somehow a greater consciousness? What if there is still room for the miraculous in our world? I don’t know our objective truth or if there even is one. I’m not a quantum physicist. But I do believe our thoughts are more powerful than we recognize and I believe the implications of how we understand and treat our conscious thought are great.
I believe that our thoughts are the seeds of what grows in our life. Human beings have the power to create beautifully and powerfully. We have composed symphonies, created the space shuttle, MRI’s, and great cities. And we once didn’t even know how to start a fire. Look how far we have come. All because of our conscious thought, our imagination. Look around this room. Everything began as someone’s small thought or wondering. Everything existed in our consciousness and imagination before it was created and manifested into our physical world. Our tiny little thoughts are the seeds of a rain forest waiting to be fostered and grown into something magnificent. Our thoughts are powerful forces often underestimated. These seeds can be used to create destruction or beauty. That is our choice. Our free will.
With our free will, we write our own story and create our life. We write a story about our past and we write a story about our future. Our stories are written thought by thought. We’re creative beings created in the image of the most creative, so it’s only natural. But often our stories don’t reflect what we most truly are or of how God sees us.
We often write our stories from a place of old hurts and fears. I know I do. I’ve written a story about myself and about my future inconsistent with my beauty for many years. Each day I strive to consciously write truth - Because I know that within each thought is a great power to create.
Each thought contributes to the story that manifests my future. If I think that I am unlovable and unwanted where can my story go? It’s already written out for me. And it’s not the story I want to choose. I will only see what I believe. I’ll see rejection at every missed call. I’ll see a breakup in every fight. I’ll see his dissolving love in every normal passing day. In every tiny happenstance. The story has been written, created, and played out. I will attract what is inside of me. My outer reality is a mirror of my inner world. If I think I am loved and wanted then the story is free. It’s open. It’s inviting. It’s a million exciting possibilities. I see love, acceptance, and commitment after every fight. I see a man who is busy but will return my call. I see safety and enduring love in every normal day. I will attract what is inside of me. I will write a story and my story creates reality.
I’ve never found it easy to write the love story. As a matter of fact, I get incredibly angry at myself regularly for falling back into old thoughts and patterns. So I have angry thoughts about my sad thoughts.
I’m going to ask you to approach your thoughts about your thoughts carefully. Because it can be what I refer to as an “ego trap.” I’ll explain. So, I have these worried thoughts or unhelpful thoughts right? I worry about my relationship. I worry my boyfriend will leave. And I worry about money, I worry about my job. I think that I won’t be able to pay my bills. I think I’ll never be a good enough counselor. I’ll never make it as an artist. I’ll never serve the world the way God’s called me to.
Then I think to myself, “Oh my gosh Alison. Look at yourself! You’re worrying too much. You’re thinking so negatively! You’ve got to get better about that!” So now I’ve had negative thoughts about myself about my negative thoughts. I’ve just double judged myself. My ego is having a field day.
The point I am trying to make is please don’t shame yourself even more for having unhelpful thoughts. It’s just another trap of our human ego. It’s adding more judgment to the judgement field day your ego is on. And honestly – your brains just trying to help. It’s trying to do it’s brain job! That’s what it was made for after all by God. To protect you from danger and peril. Your brain sees danger at every turn. That’s his evolutionary job. So pat him on the back for being so frustratingly good at that!
Sometimes I add a little humor and think - thanks brain. Thanks for pointing that out. I really appreciate that you noticed my boyfriend not calling today might be a sign he’s getting bored of me. Thanks brain. Thanks for protecting me from the dangers and perils ahead. Too bad I don’t live with threats of lions and tigers anymore. We’d be a good team then.
So we find ourselves in a real tough spot. How do we think positively without shaming ourselves for our unhelpful thoughts that are bound to occur? I think about the native American parable.
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all."
"One is Evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego,"
"The other is Good - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
To me this means, we don’t beat ourselves up for the part of us that arises we don’t like. We acknowledge it’s there, let it be, and it will fade away on its own if we don’t feed into it. We don’t believe every thought that we hear in our head. We feed the voices in our mind that are truth, life giving and creating beauty. We allow those seeds of thought to take root and grow into something beautiful. But we don’t water the seeds of worry, fear and negativity. We don’t allow them to take root.
I believe that one important key to changing our story and to choosing helpful and truthful thoughts is to grow into a deeper understanding of who and what we truly are. Our core beliefs about the self shape and mold the rest of our thinking. Our old stories are often propagated by a mistaken belief about what we are. We think things like “I am unworthy. I am not lovable. I am not wanted. I am not good enough.” We think in terms of “I am this. I am that.” We write our story with a broken “I am.” We need a new ‘I am’ to take it’s place.
In the bible God tells Moses that his name is “I am who I am.” God uses this to define who and what he is. He is everything, all that is, all matter and energy, limitless, unchangeable, exists, and is the ultimate creator. He spoke the heavens and earth into existence, by his word.
To speak or think ‘I am’ is to define something incredible. The nature of ‘I am’ is to create. Why should we ever use God’s powerful name, a name of creation, to think or speak a world into existence any less than what God would speak into creation?
God created you in his image. He gave you the power to work miracles in his name. God indwelled inside of you the holy spirit. God made you a powerful co-creater in this world. This world shaped by our conscious thought. Our imagination.
Science has left us true and deep questions about the nature of us. The nature of reality. What if we look at the world not as a machine, not as a cold and scientific ball of matter, not as something separate from our spiritual energy? What if we looked at the world as something conscious and living? Something in which God breathes and is the source? What if our conscious thought creates life? What if God is calling us to that?
God calls me to define and choose my I am. So that my thoughts and inner world may reflect the love and beauty God calls me to create. So that I may write a story that reflects the being that God made in me. I am a wonderful spirit being of the Lord Almighty on a human journey. I am unconditionally loved by God the most powerful source of goodness. I am a light in this world because the light of the holy spirit shines in me. I am a warrior of the truth and I am a warrior of the light.
What is your I am?